my director saying very kind things to me at work. Sometimes, you just need to hear it, and I've been so grateful for some of my coworkers these past 2 years! They are very validating. And people think I'm calm!!! Woohoo!
friends knowing what makes you happy and making a point to do those things (such as bringing down a stack of games or asking me to open a jar or bottle)
finding the perfect pair of jeans. I now know exactly where to go, and my long elusive search is over. I'll take this as a good omen that the pieces of the rest of my life are about to fall into place as well.
successfully working a new favorite phrase into a conversation with a new person. It made me feel sneaky and accomplished.
low:
feeling out of control (I love how lows on here are always so vague.)
Saw Transformer Guy again today. I tried to get in front of him, but he passed me at Saratoga, and I lost him at Baltimore Street. Thought I might not see him again, but I spotted him several cars ahead once I got to 95. I sped to catch up, but traffic wouldn't allow it. He maintained his lead for the duration of the trip, and no contact was made.
Every day, I drop Becky off downtown on my way to work. During this trip, we often see the same people, such as a man with an Obama basket on his bike, or a blind couple. They are my favorite, because they are always together with their white canes. No seeing eye dogs or sighted people, just each other.
After Becky's safely at work, I head down to Columbia, about half an hour away. On this leg of the route, I often see the same vehicle: a red XTerra with a "Play Rugby" sticker and a giant red Transformers sticker in the back window. I frequently follow the XTerra down 95, and one day I noticed that it made all the same turns I did, and continued down Old Columbia Road past my school. What are the odds.
Today, the XTerra and I crossed paths on my way to drop Becky off, and I told her how it was my commute buddy. Turns out the driver lives in north Baltimore too! I pulled in front of it and checked out the driver at a stop light. He looks like a man in his mid 30's with brown hair and glasses. I decided right then and there that he would find out about our matching commutes. Chances are he hasn't noticed my silver Elantra yet. I turned around and waved at Transformer Guy. He just ignored me and took an alternate route to get around the road work downtown. I tried to catch up with him, but alas, he drives way too fast (which, of course, I already knew).
It doesn't matter. Now I'm on a mission. Every chance I get, I will make Transformer Guy notice me. I will follow him, pull in front of him, turn around, wave....all the way from St. Paul to Old Columbia. Soon he will realize what I have known all along, and it will all be worth it.
I'm watching Food Revolution with Jayme right now. I'm impressed. I know there has been more of a focus on a culture of healthy, natural eating lately...but not on TV, as far as I know.
There are shows about cooking delicious food, losing weight, and being healthy. However, all these are pretty much individually focused. Changing your own eating habits, changing your own exercising habits, changing a restaurant's cooking habits. This is the first time I've heard of a TV show, on ABC at that, to focus on cultural and systemic change. That's pretty cool.
Also, Jamie Oliver is funny.
Also, the news just came on. They were showing scenes from around the harbor today, and the reporter said, "Sunny day today, people spending time outside in Fell's point, but will it continue? Are we expecting rain overnight, that's a big dog."
One way to tell that the gorgeous weather is lifting my spirits: I start speaking to my children in accents more often, for no apparent reason. Today I tried out Scottish.
I try to be positive and calm all the time, but there's no way around it - long stretches of dreary, cold weather make me more irritable. I guess it's good to notice that, but it doesn't make it easy to change. I like to think that the good days when I find it more natural to be cheery are revealing the true me - my true personality and teaching style. Then I can grab onto it and keep it even when the clouds and wind come back.
I'm not speaking in metaphors here, but I might as well be.
I want to get a sleeve tattoo of Massachusetts scenes or motifs. I'm still waiting on the perfect inspiration.
Why do we tell stories about other people? The only reason I'm asking, of course, is because earlier today, I told a story about someone, and then I wondered why on earth I was telling it. What was my motivation? Then I realized I had just been telling stories about people other than myself and analyzing them for maybe 2 hours.
Here are all the motivations with which I can come up:
People are interesting. They do interesting things, and we like to talk about the things they do. It is entertaining.
Other people's actions make us feel a certain way. We want to convey that feeling to a third party, and the best way to convey it is with the evidence: the actions that made you feel that way.
We have feelings about a person (whether positive or negative), and we want to convince other people to feel that way too. (Again, why exactly?)
Human interaction is best understood by processing it with other humans. We talk about stuff to understand it better. We talk about other people to understand ourselves better.
Feeling like we can control other people's perceptions makes us feel in control.
If you're telling a positive story about someone, it just makes you feel even better to spread the positivity.
We feel closer to someone when we're sharing information about someone else. Maybe?
Maybe some of these motivations are healthy. Maybe some are unhealthy. And maybe some just are.
Today was gorgeous. I could've worn a coat, but I decided just a sweater would do. I went for a walk on Hopkins' campus, where some guys were playing lacrosse with no shirts on. For real? I mean, I know it's a little warmer today, but it's not shirtless weather. I know how it is, though. In College Park, people were wearing shorts as soon as possible. By early April, LaPlata Beach would be covered with girls in bikinis. Everyone was so desperate for the carefree feeling of spring that they kind of ignored staying warm. I miss those days.
Even now, as I walked across unfamiliar quads looking up at the blue sky, I could feel myself internally shouting Skirts! Flip flops! Outdoor movies! Picnics! Farmer's markets! Homemade sangria! Hiking! Rock formations!
I ended up in the BMA's sculpture garden, which I didn't know existed. It's now my new favorite spot in the neighborhood. It was beautiful, and there were so many people out - reading, holding hands, chasing siblings, finding rocks and moss, laughing while talking about mortgages. They were all so happy. I tried to be still and have a nice meditative silence, but I couldn't. I could feel everyone's energy and my mind was racing. Behind all my thoughts was the constant beat: Skirts! Flip flops! Outdoor movies! Picnics! Farmer's markets! Homemade sangria! Hiking! Rock formations!
A few months ago, I applied through an online application system to a certain school district that will remain unnamed. After I applied, I was supposed to be able to view certain things online that weren't showing up. I emailed their application help address to verify that my stuff was received, and got no reply. Several weeks later, I received an email to all applicants, stating that I would need to reapply on their new system and all the old information was basically thrown out.
Seriously!? You're a system in desperate need of good teachers and you are actually throwing away applications? Really?
So, the new system was supposed to be effective March 1st. I signed in today to reapply. I received an error message saying the website was down for "System Maitenance."
System MAITENANCE? Seriously? Your brand new system that was so important you had to get rid of the old one for it is malfunctioning? And you can't even spell the error message correctly? Really!!?
Diligent person that I am, I decided to call up this unnamed system and ask what they would have me do to ensure that I can get my foot in the door of their crummy, crummy human resources department. All I heard was, You have reached a nonworking number.
