I understand we rarely mow our lawn. And I understand our shrubs just got hacked up. And I understand...no...that's about all we do wrong. Other than that, we are perfect neighbors...
So why do you let your dogs crap all over our yard AND leave it there?? Honestly!
I feel that many of my anecdotes involve birds (hawks breaking through glass, wrens getting trapped in my house or nesting in pots, birds dive-bombing my head, one-legged crows, etc). Maybe this is because I just notice them, or maybe my 9th sense is attracting birds with back stories.
Either way, a landscaping catastrophe left our yard looking like an elephant graveyard, and this little scragglepuff without a home: He had 3 siblings, and we don't know what happened to them. He's not ready to fly yet, but he has no nest and nowhere to go. Just stuck in limbo. His parents have been spending their days perching high above him and squawking to ward off potential predators (read: me). Yesterday morning, he was gone. Draw your own conclusions. Who knows, maybe he actually did learn to fly and ventured off to his new home. Home is a weird concept anyway. I've always considered wherever I am at the time home. I even call hotels home if I'm on vacation.I guess I've had a different home every year for the past 4 years, but having people I love around me was a constant. Ergo, anywhere we went was home.
Now people are getting split up, and this sense of community is not stable. Now I'm at a point in life where I have to choose my home.Now I've left little pieces of that home scattered about the state. I want to work in Silver Spring. I want to live in Baltimore. However, a hellish commute is enough of a reason for me not to attempt to pull these pieces of home together. My practicality wins again, and my heart remains torn. I guess I just have to continue to be at home wherever I am, and everything will be okay. Also, scragglepuff may be the most fitting word I've ever invented.
In movies, it's always so glamorous when people can't sleep. They shuffle into the kitchen in their bathrobes to make some tea, then find that someone else is there for the same reason. Then they get to talking and have some deep and meaningful conversation that changes the course of the movie and their lives. I can't sleep right now, but I don't want tea. I just want to fall asleep!
Also, when I was younger, the idea of a "midnight snack" seemed glamorous. Now I just stay up until 1 or 2 am, and if I'm eating at midnight, it's just kind of unhealthy.
Today, I went to church with one Christie Fay. Afterwards, we decided to go to Cheeburger Cheeburger (my first time). Christie needed some money, so we stopped at the local ATM.
As I stood there waiting, I noticed her looking a little shocked, holding two hundred dollar bills. She had actually requested $40. It was like a movie, or a TV show, where the ATM just starts spitting out money for no apparent reason. Her receipt still said she had only taken $40. Right away, Christie started to walk into the bank to see if they were open and explain the mix-up.
I have to admit, that was not my immediate reaction. I mean, if I saw $200 lying on the ground, I would definitely try to find its owner. Cause I could imagine some poor soul, wandering around, wondering what they were going to do now that they accidentally dropped a lot of money. However, with a bank, it's not a huge deal. Victimless crime, right? And it's not even a crime. It's not like we took the money. The bank screwed up and gave it to us. The bank, who charges you for all kinds of things and gives you a crappy interest rate to hold your money. If they're gonna give you money, you take it, right?
So there I was stuck in moral dilemma land, while Christie had no hesitations. The bank, of course, was closed, so we looked on the machine to see if there was a number to call. Do it again! I said. Christie decided to try it again before calling the company, to see if it was a recurring problem. I pretty much wanted her to do it again cause it was kind of like a magic trick.
Once more, request $40. Once more, receive $200. At this point, I started jumping up and down and shouting, and looking around to find the candid camera. Perhaps this was a stunt to see how honest the citizens of Burtonsville really were. Realizing I was attracting attention, I whispered to Christie, Put it in your purse. You're holding $400, and we're attracting attention. I don't want you to get robbed.
Christie called the toll-free number, and as she explained the situation, we watched a man come up and use the ATM. He inspected his money, inspected the receipt, and walked away. I smiled as he passed, nodded like a geek, and said, Uh huh.
It did it to you too? he asked, and fanned out the hundreds of dollars it had given him. See? It was spreading happiness to the world. Who knows how many people had been given some much-needed free money that morning? Or last night!
I like to think it was someone's last day on the job, and as their own personal way of sticking it to the man, they stuffed the dispensers with Benjamins, distributing Chevy Chase's wealth to the masses. I do not like to think it was someone's first day on the job. If so, they will be fired on Monday.
Anyway, we ended up going to the Chevy Chase in a nearby Giant, which was open and telling them what had happened, at the suggestion of the lady Christie called. She gave it all back and was offered no reward of any kind, despite my request on her behalf. I mean, isn't that standard? Now I'm not saying the man who worked at the Giant Chevy Chase pocketed the money for himself, but he did put it in some sort of a leather wallet that didn't look locked or official in any way. The world may never know.
After that lengthy excursion, we continued on our way to lunch, and who did we see at Cheeburger Cheeburger but our newly rich friend from the ATM. We discussed how Christie had given all the money back to the bank, and he had kept his and decided he would have to do at least one 'good deed' with it. He said he had asked his daughter and her friend to go to lunch with him. When they asked where he was going, he replied, Probably to Hell if I don't change my ways.
I think Christie was second-guessing her decision, since she blurted out partway through lunch, I guess I coulda pulled a Robin Hood. Either way, I am glad to have this fine young lady as a future coworker/friend/terp 4 life.
Usually, when people ask me what's new in my life, I have nothing to tell them. However, now that college is ended, and I have entered the phase in life that apparently some call Purgatory, things are changing. I guess I've been apartment hunting, job hunting, and hunting for things to do while I am bored at my part-time job or while waiting for the laundry to dry.
Most noteworthy is my rediscovery of ALF. The guy is hilarious. Although, since I have nothing real to work on during down-time at the chapel, I have been watching episode after episode. It kind of gets old, since the premise is always the same: lovable, obnoxious alien screws up family's plans yet again, with little remorse. It's one of those shows that's so predictable and cheesy that I can't help but love it. Much like Good Times, which also starts to bother me in large doses.
There are more updates on my life, too, but I shall save them for another post, and let this picture of the beloved Alien Life Form remain in your mind.
interviewer: So what can we expect from The Office next season? BJ Novak: Well, we plan on jumping the shark. On the first episode.
Yikes. Straight from one of the writer's mouths (not verbatim, but close). I think he was doing that passing-off-the-truth-as-sarcasm thing. I also think he's probably a jerk, but he's right.
Am I the only one who believes the series should have ended with this past season finale? Take a lesson from the British. They ended theirs after only two short seasons. However, Americans are gluttons. I think the downfall of this show, as with many before it, is that we want complete gratification. We want Jim and Pam get together, even though we know well that most of the fun is in the tension. If they are simply a happy couple this coming season, we will have nothing to hope for.
I would like to give the writers a little more credit than that. There will still be some kind of tension for Jim and Pam, I'm sure, but it won't be the same. I would also like to give the show itself a little more worth. It's not all about that romance. Ultimately, it's a comedy about some quirky employees in a would-be mundane office in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Well, originally, that's what it was. Originally, the humor was found in the subtle moments surrounding the employees' interactions. Now, it is found in Michael Scott about to jump off the top of a building onto a moon bounce. All I can say is, David Brent would have never done that.
Now we can't expect the NBC version to be the same as the BBC version, and I don't. Ultimately, however, I think the US producers are more concerned with milking the show for all it's worth than with preserving its artistic integrity.
Will I be watching it religiously every Thursday? Dinkin-flicka.
There are more updates on my life, too, but I shall save them for another post, and let this picture of the beloved Alien Life Form remain in your mind.