dance for your dinner

Today, I went to church with one Christie Fay. Afterwards, we decided to go to Cheeburger Cheeburger (my first time). Christie needed some money, so we stopped at the local ATM.

As I stood there waiting, I noticed her looking a little shocked, holding two hundred dollar bills. She had actually requested $40. It was like a movie, or a TV show, where the ATM just starts spitting out money for no apparent reason. Her receipt still said she had only taken $40. Right away, Christie started to walk into the bank to see if they were open and explain the mix-up.

I have to admit, that was not my immediate reaction. I mean, if I saw $200 lying on the ground, I would definitely try to find its owner. Cause I could imagine some poor soul, wandering around, wondering what they were going to do now that they accidentally dropped a lot of money. However, with a bank, it's not a huge deal. Victimless crime, right? And it's not even a crime. It's not like we took the money. The bank screwed up and gave it to us. The bank, who charges you for all kinds of things and gives you a crappy interest rate to hold your money. If they're gonna give you money, you take it, right?

So there I was stuck in moral dilemma land, while Christie had no hesitations. The bank, of course, was closed, so we looked on the machine to see if there was a number to call. Do it again! I said. Christie decided to try it again before calling the company, to see if it was a recurring problem. I pretty much wanted her to do it again cause it was kind of like a magic trick.

Once more, request $40. Once more, receive $200. At this point, I started jumping up and down and shouting, and looking around to find the candid camera. Perhaps this was a stunt to see how honest the citizens of Burtonsville really were. Realizing I was attracting attention, I whispered to Christie, Put it in your purse. You're holding $400, and we're attracting attention. I don't want you to get robbed.


Christie called the toll-free number, and as she explained the situation, we watched a man come up and use the ATM. He inspected his money, inspected the receipt, and walked away. I smiled as he passed, nodded like a geek, and said, Uh huh.

It did it to you too? he asked, and fanned out the hundreds of dollars it had given him. See? It was spreading happiness to the world. Who knows how many people had been given some much-needed free money that morning? Or last night!

I like to think it was someone's last day on the job, and as their own personal way of sticking it to the man, they stuffed the dispensers with Benjamins, distributing Chevy Chase's wealth to the masses. I do not like to think it was someone's first day on the job. If so, they will be fired on Monday.

Anyway, we ended up going to the Chevy Chase in a nearby Giant, which was open and telling them what had happened, at the suggestion of the lady Christie called. She gave it all back and was offered no reward of any kind, despite my request on her behalf. I mean, isn't that standard? Now I'm not saying the man who worked at the Giant Chevy Chase pocketed the money for himself, but he did put it in some sort of a leather wallet that didn't look locked or official in any way. The world may never know.

After that lengthy excursion, we continued on our way to lunch, and who did we see at Cheeburger Cheeburger but our newly rich friend from the ATM. We discussed how Christie had given all the money back to the bank, and he had kept his and decided he would have to do at least one 'good deed' with it. He said he had asked his daughter and her friend to go to lunch with him. When they asked where he was going, he replied, Probably to Hell if I don't change my ways.

I think Christie was second-guessing her decision, since she blurted out partway through lunch, I guess I coulda pulled a Robin Hood. Either way, I am glad to have this fine young lady as a future coworker/friend/terp 4 life.