I'm so predictable

If the Nazis ever come to power in this country, they'll skin your arm and make a lampshade out of it.

-my dad, in reference to me contemplating a sleeve tattoo

maybe I'm just jealous I can't conjugate a sentence anymore

At the pool I go to, there's this family who speaks French. I don't mean they're francophone. I mean, for whatever reason, they just speak French to their children, loudly, and with a 'Baltimore' accent.

Mowneek dee que too ay silly.

Apray tu a feenee, too peut m'accompanyay owh vwachoor.

Their fluency wasn't bad, but even the kids had terrible accents, and kids pick up languages well. I don't know, I can see the draw of raising bilingual kids, but it seems a bit pretentious to do it loudly, in public, when it's obvious you're not a native speaker. Like you're trying to prove to the other Dickinson pool-goers that even eating a Screwball from the snack bar is a culturally enriching experience for your family.

oh hey, Gina in Seattle

Is this for real? I love it. But how?

I couldn't have been more wrong

When I woke up this morning, I was so tired.

Uugh, this has been a long week. It must be Friday, I thought.

Then I realized I was tired and not so clear on the day. Maybe it's Monday, and that's why I'm so tired. It's definitely Friday or Monday.

Then I checked my cell phone.

making ourselves an unavoidable reality

Outdoor Sunday was held in Annapolis today. I walked around with my parents, watched fish, felt the breeze, and ate a crabcake. While walking along a crowded part of the dock, I saw a church van in the parking lot. The tagline on the side of the van said, "Making Jesus Christ an unavoidable reality."

I thought about that line for a while. I've heard lots of spins on Christianity and evangelism/proselytism, but this was kind of a new one. If you believe that something already is a reality, how would you make it so? Wouldn't that be like saying, "Making gravity an unavoidable reality?" You people are going to be so much more pulled to the ground. We are making it so. Don't even think you will continue to be suspended mid-air.

Also, I hate the idea of making Jesus into anything. Jesus is Jesus. He does not need to be repackaged and marketed to the masses. He does not need you to make Him more 'real.'

Lastly, that phrase makes it sound like the people of Annapolis are running around, trying to avoid Jesus. "Quick, here He comes. Let's hide in this alley!" I don't think this is the case. I think people often try to avoid Christians, the kind who hand out tracts printed on fake billion dollar bills, for whatever reason. Oh yeah, someone was handing out tracts printed on fake billion dollar bills today. I assume they came in the van.

Dick and Jane got nothing on this

A miracle occurred today. My parents had some family friends over for dinner. As they were talking in the kitchen, I saw a coverless old book that looked like some sort of collection of children's activities. What's this? I said, as I walked over to pick it up, noticing that it had my own last name penned on the front. The minute I touched it, however, I knew. I gasped, pulled the book up to my chest as if someone were trying to take it away from me again, and fell to my knees.

You see, my mother used to give away and/or loan our things to this family: books, clothes, The Brave Little Toaster and Big Bird in China on VHS, to name a few, but who's keeping track...At times in our lives, my siblings and I have lamented the fact that she got rid of some of these childhood treasures. The greatest loss to me was always the book I learned to read from, a book that was unsearchable, because I never knew its title or anything. In it were several easy reader stories. The most vivid to me was one about an animal who was being chased by a bee. "Look! Up in the tree. I see the bee and the bee sees me." I can still remember turning those pages and reading the book out loud as a 3 or 4 year old.

I thought it had faded from existence. I had no idea the book would show up 20 years later. A miracle. As I pored over its pages tonight, recollections of the other stories came rushing back to me. The book is in pretty bad condition, but now that I know the title, maybe I'll buy another copy so as to preserve the original. Also, looking at it from an educational standpoint, it is a quality piece of children's literature. With an original copyright in 1960, I think it must have had more authentic and interesting writing than its contemporaries. Okay, in case you haven't stopped reading out of boredom from my nerdiness, here are some pictures.


This is probably where I developed the misconception that bees have stingers on their noses.



This story about a lion is rather good. In it, a bird asks the lion if it can have a strand of hair for its nest. The lion says yes, and eventually he gives away all but one strand of hair to the birds. The zookeeper gets frustrated with the lion because he looks funny, and the lion tries to remedy the situation by hiding, wearing a bucket, and using his tail as a wig. The zookeeper doesn't like these solutions, so he brings in a special shampoo salesman. He uses the shampoo on the lion to make his hair grow. Instead of his mane returning, his single hair just gets ridiculously long, and they cut it off. Ultimately, the birds find out that the lion is sad and make a leaf wig for him to wear. The people still say he looks funny, but one man says he likes the wig. And the lion says he'll wear it until his hair grows back.

And that's all I have to say about that.

maybe she just wanted people to know

At the gas station today, the lady in front of me was wearing white shorts. I could clearly see the word DIVA across her butt.

Excuse me ma'am, I wanted to say, but everyone can read your underpants.

Instead, I just started singing a song to myself that had the word 'diva' in it, the same way I used to hum 'Debbie Downer' in college when the girl who looked like Rachel Dratch got into the elevator with me. If nothing else, I keep myself entertained all day.

except I haven't had a snowball yet

I was tempted to take food off a child's plate today. We had an end-of-the-year picnic, and someone brought in Chick-Fil-A nuggets. The teachers naturally missed all the good food, and I saw a few kids who had taken nuggets and didn't eat them. What a waste.

In other news, this has been the worst work week ever [this year], and I can't wait for it to be over. Outside of work, though, I'm savoring every moment of the summer so far. I've been busy, and it's been fantastic, and that's the only way to do it.

no need to list a low

hlhotw


highs:

• wearing matching red bandannas with my car on our camping trip
• watching the moon rise over the mountains in under 2 minutes probably
• bonfire
• Sharpie tattoos
• swimming in the frigid, flooded Potomac
• hearing En Vogue as I passed Merriweather
  
• falling in love with a new favorite spot - Wilde Lake!
  
• lightning bugs! They almost feel mythical when they first show up, like you're seeing a unicorn or something.
  

huhs:

• having a tent collapse on us in the middle of the night
  
• getting hit on by some 7-year-olds and not realizing it until after making an awkward comment

pink the color, Pink the person, hot dogs...basically anything that is awesome...snow cones

princess-loving girl: (in a completely matter-of-fact voice) Miss Anna, I know what all the kinds of princess hair-dos are. There's braid, bun, up-swept, long and loose, and tangle.
Miss Anna: Wow. Where did you get all those?
princess-loving girl: I have a book all about being a princess.

shows up better here

I found this on the back of a recipe for doughnuts. I drew it 2 years ago to illustrate to my roommates how big my family is.

I believe I have 55 cousins. This includes: step cousins besides the ones I've never met, and all first cousins whether I've met them or not. This excludes: second cousins though I love them dearly.

? = don't know their names
red = updated yesterday

though I think it was more salmon than red

Out of the blue, while walking through the hall today...

precocious little girl: Miss Anna, you had long curly hair, a white shirt, and a red skirt the first day you came here [back in August].

Seriously? Wow. She was definitely scoping out the new teacher. Moral of the story...you never know the things a 4-year-old will remember years down the line. You never know the impact of what you are doing or saying, or even the faces you make. Take your job seriously. Be calm, kind, and honest at all times.

Also, it doesn't hurt to look your best. My co-workers give me flack for wearing heels.