no inspiration lately but music

or face my unbridled bewilderment

Dear Mysterious Silent Study Room-Goer,

Please reveal yourself immediately.

You know who you are.

oh yeah, and Happy Heart Day

(Warning: The following is a rant related to media portrayal of schools and educational policy. If this sounds boring, please stop reading.)

Valentine's Day, 2 am. My sleep cycle is all screwed up from being sick, so I am wide awake when I should be resting for our busy day in school tomorrow. I hope we have school, I really do.

So I finally saw Half Nelson tonight, a movie I have been waiting to see since September. It is a movie about a white teacher in the inner city. Now there have been many movies like this, all very inspirational and heart-warming. However, this one is different, because it's not really about how a suburban person goes into a failing city school and turns it around by making the kids believe in themselves. It's about how this teacher is frustrated and lonely and addicted to crack. Aaahh, a breath of fresh air. It was a quality film.

Don't get me wrong; I love a good inspirational teaching movie. Stand and Deliver? Also quality. However, my sister (or her boyfriend - whoever said it first) made a good point about movies like this. They are deceptive, because they make it look like that teacher who comes along is the first person to ever care about the students. And that is a load of junk. Teachers at failing schools care deeply about their students, but that is not enough. What can you do when you have a class of 40 students whose parents probably aren't educated, who might not even see their parents that often, who have to work other jobs or do other things just to make some money for their families, who see other people dropping out of school, and who don't have the amount of experiences and background knowledge that their wealthy peers have? I'm sorry, but one teacher, no matter how dedicated, is not going to be able to fix all that.

I'm not saying teachers can't make a difference, or what right would I have to become one? I'm just saying that the educational system, and poverty itself cannot be fixed by one person. This is my main problem with inspirational movies and programs like Teach for America.

Here is how Teach for America is currently advertising itself on facebook:

"Of the 13 million growing up in poverty,
about half will graduate from high school.
Those that do graduate will perform
on average at an eighth grade level.

You can change this."

They make it sound so simple! Like Joe Collegestudent is going to be able to reverse poverty just by signing up.

The one benefit I can see to this program is recruiting more people to become teachers even if they hadn't originally intended to be. However, when you take the least prepared people and put them in the neediest schools, that is neither fair to the students nor fair to that poor teacher. I'd like to find out how many volunteers finish their 2 year commitment and actually go on to get certified to continue teaching, and how many quit.

On top of this, it astounds me that this program is backed by the federal government. This is the same federal government, mind you, who under NCLB has said that if a school does not make Adequate Yearly Progress for a certain number of years, it can be taken over by the state and possibly restaffed with "highly-qualified" teachers. Basically, the government is saying that the reason schools are failing is that teachers aren't good enough, and they need to be certified and well-trained in their field; but they are also turning around and funding a program that puts people who are not "highly-qualified" in charge of classrooms. This is wrong on several levels. If nothing else, make up your freaking minds!

Honestly, I think there would be more impact if we were recruiting college graduates to commit to being mentors, one on one with students. That would be meaningful. And as for me, I feel like I'm getting a lot of good experience. Maybe after a few years of teaching, I would be ready for a city school. Who knows.

Anyway, the movie was good, Go watch it.

pink gold!

a week in review

Monday: relinquished my Sufjan Stevens ticket to the generous Alexis, due to feeling like I had the flu and strep throat. stayed home while others enjoyed a beautiful concert at the Kennedy Center

Tuesday: felt mostly better. got worse in the afternoon. wanted to go home but didn't want to leave my students with the scary substitute, so I stuck it out

Wednesday: snow day! lay around drinking tea and sucking on Cold-Eeze

Thursday: feeling a little better

Friday: voice finally started to go at the end of the school day

Saturday: woke up with no voice. attempted to speak several times until I realized it was impossible. worried about possible pink eye at night

Sunday: fears of pink eye confirmed. voice still shot. also, got a bloody nose

Monday: ...doctor's appointment? yes please

I misspelled occurrence in a spelling bee in 7th grade, and I never will again

You know how people claim to see Jesus in their potato chips? Or the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese? Well...I kinda had a moment like that today. Only, God was speaking to me through soap suds.

There I was, trying to wash dishes and clear out the garbage disposal at the same time, cause somehow it broke and the water drains really slow now, but I digress...there I was, and all of a sudden, it appeared to me. Clear as day, there was Stiles Reservoir, incarnated in the soap suds among the greasy pots and pans from dinner. Who would have known that such a holy occurrence could take place right there in the kitchen sink? Mysterious ways, man, mysterious ways.

The question is...what does this revelation mean? What epiphany did it bring me? I think the answer is clear: I need a vacation. Let's quit everything and just go to Massachusetts, and bask on my favorite lake in the world. That lovely, soapy, lake.

Quick thinker that I am, I captured this moment digitally, for all my readers to behold. I thought briefly about selling it to Ripley's, but that would only make a joke out of such a solemn occasion. Prepare to be amazed...




Okay, so it's a little off. Just move the island down a little, and push the tail the other way. But still, I got the message loud and clear.