spoiled rotten, just with no stability

highlights of my first few weeks as a long-term sub

• having NO TEAM MEETINGS. ever. I'm the only Pre-K teacher.
• not having to listen to morning announcements
• bonding with my personal assistant over Teen Mom
• oh yeah, the fact that I have a personal assistant!
• having many 2 hour delays, which means I don't even have kids until 1:00
• being in a flexible and stress-free school with lots of support
• showing an Andy Goldsworthy book to my 3-year-olds to reinforce the concept of melting after a science lesson. (I love the fact that I can introduce young children to my own taste. They will learn to love awesome things!)
• the fact that I don't have to touch a behavior contract or the attendance or papers to send home, because my para-educators and assistant do all that
• many people being very friendly and kind to me
• the kids, who are a great bunch
  

lowlights

• not getting paid on snow days

be all there

Now, I didn't really want to advertise it. I just wanted people to notice it whenever they did. That way, I don't feel like I'm showing off and I still get all that shock value. But...I haven't had any interesting interactions with strangers to recount, and this is what's up...



My lobster. In one sense, it is a representation of an actual geographical place - my family's lake cottage in Massachusetts, built by my great grandfather, and visited every summer for longer than I've been alive. If you know me, you've heard of it.

In another sense, it represents a perspective and quality of character I want to possess. Massachusetts is my place of peace and contentment. When I am there, I am all there. In day-to-day life, I have a hard time being present, because I'm so nostalgic, with my head in the past and sometimes the future and sometimes some alternate reality that I've created for who knows what purpose. I want to carry around a sense of contentedness and being fully present wherever I go, no matter what the circumstance. I want to be a calm, refreshed person, so I can be refreshing to others. So I have tattooed it on my arm. My little lobster. My paradoxical symbol of both nostalgia and presence in the moment.

(when was I under it?)

Life is so grawful I can't even get over it.

I really really did like her; she was generous and funny and kind

A bunch of relatives are at my parents' house, chatting in the kitchen while my brother's playlist runs in the background.

I go over to his computer to check on the title and album of the song that is playing, which I assume to be by Joanna Newsom, who has a whining, abrasive voice if you ask me. My brother sees me checking and gives me a thumbs-up and raised eyebrow across the room, waiting for me to concur that this song is in fact awesome.

me: Eh, I never really liked her.

The room goes quiet except for that whiny voice in the background as all my aunts and uncles give me shocked and puzzled looks.

Apparently they had been talking about my great aunt who had just died.