Two nights ago I had a dream that I was driving. I was stepping on the brakes as hard as I could, but the car was barely slowing down. I was dodging all the cars around me, action movie style, and when I managed to glance down at the speedometer, it said I was going 90, despite all the pressure on the brakes. Somehow, I managed to put on the emergency brake and pull off onto a hill somewhere. I got out, and the entire world was covered with this thin layer of really slick super-ice. Then another car almost hit me as it slid down the hill.
I guess it had something to do with a loss of control in my life? Well, yesterday is over: a single battle won. Here's to tomorrow and the chance of more terrifying dreams.
Last night I had a dream that my sister had her baby and named it Betoven. (I told her the spelling was incorrect, and she told me it was intentional.)
I could tell you the story of my day and paint it as a comedy or a tragedy. I suppose that's the beauty of life: it's all in how you see it. This subjectivity, however, can cause problems. Someone can tell you you're amazing while another voice says you're worthless. You can then craft an argument to prove that you are in fact (and not all that surprisingly) somewhere in the middle. Or, you can say, eh, whatever. Spending a lot of time and energy trying to control the people around you is not efficient in a world where perception actually is everything.
To be happy in any circumstance or to do everything in your power to change the circumstances? To eat nothing but pancakes until you die or to take matters into your own hands? Jury's still out.
bonus points: name the film: This may sound like gibberish to you, but...I think I'm in a tragedy.
Here's the thing. I didn't really watch TV last year, but this year I've pretty much settled on a show per night for some ambience while I plan math small groups or whatever it is I do. Usually I don't care that much about what's on, but I have found a passion for one show in particular.
I love Wife Swap.
It sounds terrible, but it is in fact amazing. Every week, I think, This family is horrendous! No good can come of this situation. They always start out at each other's throats, but in the end, someone always learns something about themselves and their relationships. People break down in tears from the self-realizations that psycho-mom or dad has brought about. It's moving.
They always pick some extreme cases like a military family and a family of clowns. Or rednecks and 'paranormals.' One time it was a conservative Christian family and a liberal Christian family. The liberal dad ended up in tears on a bed, while the conservative dad kidnapped his daughter to keep her away from the infiltration of the new mom and kept saying, "I am the gatekeeper!" He actually didn't end up learning anything.
I like to imagine how I would be on the show, despite the fact that I am not a wife or mom. I just try to think what are my beliefs and habits, and what would be a polar opposite? Probably a family that lets their kids treat everyone like crap and never cleans the house or...sacrifices animals to Satan in their backyard. I mean, that would be pretty extreme for me.
Someday, I will have a real life again. Still, there's no shame in Wife Swap.
