you can trust me
So I had a dream about my nephew a few days ago. I dreamt my sister wanted me to bring him to work and watch him for the day. So I did, and I was showing him off to coworkers. Only, he was black. And I remember saying to someone, Yeah, he looked white when he was born, but you know how babies change color.
Well eventually, he was white again, but by that time he was a girl. A very cute girl. This was probably also the time I realized I had left his (her) diaper bag at my sister's house. Woops! I decided I would just have to wait to feed her until we left work. So I ws carrying her around, and suddenly, her pants were missing. So I was crawling around looking for them, thinking Kirsten will kill me if I lose her pants! Or if she finds out I'm not feeding her. Then suddenly, things took a turn for the worse. I looked down at her, and I was only holding her shirt and bib. Where did the baby go!?!
I searched frantically and finally found the baby hiding under a bed. Seriously? She was crouched under there, obviously hiding from me on purpose. So I picked her up and put her next to the bed, which she held onto and stood upright next to. Amazing! Again, I turned to a coworker to show her how amazing this baby was. Standing up at only a month and a half!
And then...she fell. She dented the side of her head, and it turned all red. At this point, what else could go wrong? I picked her up and rushed her off to...somewhere...to take care of her head. Then my mom showed up and said, Kirsten's worried. You were supposed to be emailing her hourly updates to tell her how much he's eating.
What!? I replied. I'm at work. I can't email her. It's 1:30; my kids have been back from recess for an hour. Who's watching them!?!? This was a bad idea. Then I confessed that I had in fact left the diaper bag at home, and the baby hadn't eaten all day.
Why don't you just give him some juice?
Juice?
Clearly, I had forgotten that this baby could drink juice. I poured him/her two cupsfull of cranberry juice, which he guzzled down quickly and spilled all over his/her face, Cookie Monster style. I noticed his diaper was wet. Then he started peeing out of his diaper, with great force. Pee was squirting out of his pants everywhere, so I stood him in a bucket, which started filling up very quickly.
This was the last thing I remember.
Huh.
posted by Änna @ 6:05 PM
8 Comments:
okay... two things...
1. i just laughed way too hard for 10:30 at night.
2. if this were my dream i would say it's a sign that i'm stressed about bubble sheets and report card comments and packing my room and doing a million things at once, although i dont know why i would be dreaming about my nephew cause I dont have one. since its you... not only does the baby exsisting make more sense, but i'm gonna guess you are stressed about all that kindergarten end of the year jazz- good news is we're almost done!!
-me
this may be some indication that you are not quite prepared for motherhood. just a hunch.
good quick thinking with the bucket, though.
good thing that it's only a week til the end of the school year and good thing there is no impending motherhood to freak me out
thank you, that was hysterical. almost done anna. it's almost officially summer.
anne
I was holding a sleeping Johann while I read this. Johann got quite a jiggle from all the laughing I was doing. He didn't seem to mind, though. I think he laughed, too.
Before I gave birth, I too, dreamt that he had turned into a girl. Only, I dreamt that I brought him/her home, plastic wrapped in a little cardboard box shaped like a coffin. And I breast fed her while she was still in the box, just with some of the plastic wrap at the top ripped off.
quit the crack
let me guess: formerwas Kirsten; latter was Chris? also, that coffin thing is a little creepy.
you guessed correctly
how come we have to pass a little quiz before we can post on your blog? like seeing the letters correctly and being able to type them exactly as we see them somehow qualifies us to comment? I don't get it
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