I have the measles and the mumps, a rash, a gash, and 40 lumps

I write you this in the throes of death. It's 4:30 in the morning, and I just woke up after a fitful 4 hours of sleep. I felt very restless, and in my mind, my skin must have resembled a green screen weather map, with cold fronts and heat waves shifting all over the landscape. My eyes feel too big for their sockets and all of me is a little shaky. I tried to swallow some water, which for some reason is very difficult for my stomach to digest. Swallowing is a feat in itself, as this whole thing is no doubt caused by the routine rebellion of my tonsils, lungs, and sinuses against my general well-being.

Naturally, I managed to heave myself downstairs in order to check my temperature. My resting temperature is somewhere around 98 degrees, so anything is feverish for me. The highest reading I got just now was 101. Seriously, that's it? At school, that's our limit for sending children home. If they are under, we might wait and check again. For real? You're telling me that a 3-year-old little body feels like I do right now (give or take .6 of a degree), and we have them chill for awhile instead of going straight to bed? Madness.

Well, that was enough of a distraction for now. Perhaps I will be able to fall asleep. Peace out, well people. I might be taking my uninsured butt to the clinic for some urgent care today.