I don't speak freaky deaky Dutch

Solid goooooooold!

I posted a profile on a website where people can find babysitters back when I was trying to nanny this summer. I apologize for posting this entire thing, but it may be the funniest email I have ever received.

Hello friend, How are you? Over there, hope you are well doing, I am Rossy by name I am a woman of 35 yrs I am a mother of 2, I came crossways you profile in an www.4sitters.com site I am interested in you joining our family as a Babysitter, I am a Dutch bynativity but am based in Australia, but in like 2 months time now, we would be re-locating to U S A and we would want you to join us as Babysitter, in [ADDRESS]. everything in that house that we would be staying when we arrive has been put in place except some new home properties that we have purchased from UK and ready for shipping over to our new address in the state, Our house address is a 5 bedroom duplex located in [ADDRESS]. I am business woman I finished my university degree justof resent, I studied children guiding, counseling and psychology My name is Rossy am 35yrs I love to care for children and I don't mind to do some housework to help you, and my husband's name is Mark, he is into fabric production chemicals importations, we are coming to live usa cos of his large volume of demand in his business so in U.S.A Pls swiftly reply me if the chance of joining us when we come to U S A is Still open, we would be coming by 2months time which is September 15, and in case you are from another sate, then we would be responsible for Your traveling fees, I think I can handle all that by myself you do not need to spend anything ... if that would Be ok with you...my children are males, they, love soccer and Basketball and swimming and all such of games, I personally love play basketball my Husband is a nice man he is cool headed. We are going to treat you like a king., My husband is an international business man, he deals with importation of fabric productionchemicals and he has a busy business net network around the world, and he also has some business client in usa which we have already discussed with concerning all the traveling expenses of anybody that is going to be our BABYSITTER and they are going to be responsible for me and my children's traveling expenses as well and for the shipping of the rest of our luggage from UK, and my husband will join us latter b'cos he is not presently in Australia he has traveled to Belgium for a conferences and they have agreed with my husband that they would pay all the traveling fees of the Babysitter, so you do not need to spend anything on your coming, pls respond to this mail if you are still available , you position is to just care for the children when they return from school and take then out round some part of the sate We are two international business people in the production of fabric field who want exceptional care for our two little boys. As a family we like to boat and water ski in thesummer, snowmobile in the winter, and travel. We participate in community activities and like to be involved. You would live in a nice home in a nice neighborhood and would have a large private bathroom adjacent to your bedroom. This place is called Sydney in Australia but we would be coming to usa address: in [ADDRESS] Typical hours of care would be from 8:30 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. Weekends would usually be off. We would appreciate an English speaking person so that our sons become bilingual; however, it is not required. The boys' father speaks English fluently. Our jobs allow us many holidays in which you may or may not need to care for the children. Many more details can be given upon contact. The name of the boys are denis and matex they are 7weeks and 4year of age, the love to play soccer and to play basket ball and fishing and cycling, if you have any pet that you love, you can bring them here and they would also be taken care of, you would not do any house work at all, the payment is $1,500usd per week my e-mail address is [EMAIL]@yahoo.ca , the gender of the Baby sitter does not matter, you would live in the home with us, but you have your private apartment , private car if you can drive , private cell phone , private bathroom and toilet, we want the Babysitter to come as soon as possible , the minimum time the Babysitter can stay is 3 moths and the maximum is 18 moths , pls if your interested and available , go and do your findings concerning all the document that you will need for your traveling and give me the total cost bill so I can arrange for the payment , Thank you. Rossy

I think she is either a robot or a murderer...of some sort. But for 1500 a week? I mean, I could risk it. Where was Rossy earlier this summer? Sydney, obviously, but I could've used 1500 a week, my own car, my own apartment, my own cell phone, my own pet that I love, weekends off, travel fees, being treated like a king. And a 7 week old baby who enjoys playing soccer, basket ball, fishing, and cycling? That's freakin amazing! And would they take me boating, water skiing, and snowmobiling with them? Shoot, goodbye College Park! I'm off to go and do my findings concerning all the document that I will need. See you guys in 3 to 18 moths!