oooh, a rant

One time I said that my job was glamorous...yeah, scratch that. Tonight it went from glamorous to filthy...then to pretty hilarious.

Long story short, I cleaned up crap. And I don't use crap figuratively here, the way I often do, to refer to flowers, or purses, or pieces of tissue. Oh no, there was an actual pile of feces smushed on the floor. As in, Hagerstown Hall has never even been that bad.

That's right, someone pooped on the bathroom floor. I don't know how; I don't know why. I don't understand why someone would poop on the floor at a wedding in a Chapel then choose to leave it there. But there it was. This is not part of my job, but you do what you gotta do to salvage some dignity for someone's wedding day, even if their coordinator's a liar and their guests poop wherever they please. The girl I was training and I took some stuff from the janitor's closet and mopped and disinfected as best we could. We propped open the door for ventilation and put up "wet floor" and "bathroom closed" signs. We went back to write about our adventures in the Event Journal, so everyone else who works there would know just how fun our weekend was.

So, I gave this one to the girl I was training, and as she is detailing the episode, the reverend comes in and informs us that "a gentleman is using the bathroom that you just blocked, with the door left wide open". And that was when it turned hilarious. Peeing in front of wedding guests...yep, that's just the icing on the cake.

I think this may have all been an elaborate plot to steal my title of "Classiest Wedding Guest".
Touché, guys. Touché.