...it's back

So, at the end of the semester, I had this bad feeling like I was screwing up everything I did. For instance:
One day I skipped class to sleep in, just cause I felt like it. I was already awake, and then I just said, eh, forget it, and went back to sleep. Later that day, my friend asked me why I wasn't in class...I told her I was just sleeping, only to find out that we had had an exam. I just didn't show up for an exam. I had no clue we even had one. Who does that??

Another time, I was on my way to a job interview. Nothing had worked out, and I wasn't used to rejection. So...one last interview. I couldn't find the house number I was looking for, so I was driving and looking at a street sign at the same time. I hit a curb, blew out the tire, couldn't call the people I was supposed to meet (didn't even have their number!), didn't know how to change the tire...and then I realized I had been looking for the wrong house number, and I had driven past the actual house a few times. Huh.

And then I did a bunch of other stupid things, but those were the biggest.

And now, I feel like I'm doing it again:

I spent 3 years growing out my hair so I could finally cut off more than 10 inches to donate to Locks of Love. I had it in a bag sitting on the table, ready to be sent out. And suddenly...it was gone. I know this is disgusting, but my hair, and lots of it, is missing. I think my mom threw it away! I had a friend chop off all my hair for nothing?? Some kid with leukemia is now still bald because I couldn't manage to send my hair in! Bleh!

And today...today was just a giant waste of driving time. There's this thing called Worship in the Spirit of Justice in DC, or as I like to call it, "Church for Darfur". For 5 Sundays, people are meeting in DC to sing songs and pray and have speakers in various places in DC to gather people of faith and people who care about the world to encourage Bush to actually do something to stop the genocide. They're also doing it to encourage CNN to actually cover what's taking place in the Sudan on the news. So...that's awesome. And I really wanted to go. But I couldn't find anyone to go with! So...I didn't go. I didn't want to go there by myself and sit alone and feel awkward. So I decided to just go to normal church. But when I drove past it, everyone was outside! It didn't look like normal church, and again, I was too scared to go alone. I wouldn't know what to do with myself! So I turned around and drove all the way home. I haven't been to church in weeks cause I don't like going alone.
Then I tried to go to the library. But it was closed.
Then I tried to go to the pool and thought, wouldn't it be awful if it ended up being closed, and I had to go home? But it wasn't closed. Good. But when I got to the gate and gave them my card, they said my membership was inactive! No! It's actually not! I'm not quite 23 yet, that's when they get deactivated. Grrr.

So basically, I wasted the whole day. And I have to go back to work tomorrow. And I'm starting to feel like a waste of space again. That was not a good end of the semester, and I don't want it invading my summer. I don't know if I'm a perfectionist or what, but I absolutely hate feeling like I've screwed things up.