Steph makes better analogies

I had a realization this afternoon.
Sleep, to me, is an abusive boyfriend.

He's no good for me. I end up wasting half my life away just to stay in bed.
After I wake up at noon on a Monday, I realize I don't need him. I could do so much better with my life! I could've just gotten up at 9. Why didn't I??

I tell him, "I'm leaving you. I have other people who need me. I have homework. I need to clean the apartment, talk to my roommates, be a healthy person."

"But baby, I love you," he says, "and you love me too."

And of course, he always wins. I might set the alarm for 9, but I always go back to him. It's ruining my life.

But I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, sleep really is good to me; you just don't understand.