bye bye birdie

Like many families, we hang a wreath on our door at Christmastime. A few years ago, I opened the door, and a bird that had been attempting to make a nest in the wreath flew in. It hopped around in the Christmas tree, then I shooed it out of the house. I told my mom when she got home. The next day, it happened again, and I told my mom when she got home. This time, however, she didn't believe me. Sure, birds keep flying in the house every time I leave. I was intent on capturing the bird the next time, to prove to my mother that it really did happen. However, the bird didn't come back.

Tonight, Dana and I came home from a little thrifting, and when I opened the door, in flew a bird from the wreath! It was a pretty little Carolina Wren, like in the picture (My dad likes to birdwatch; I've picked up a few names.) At first, I wanted to keep it in the house to show my mom. However, she was probably gonna be gone all day. I started thinking of the havoc a little bird could wreak on a house in a few short hours. What if it flew into the basement and hid in some boxes and we never found it? It would die and rot, and we'd have a dead bird on the basement. What if it got crazy and started pecking at people? At the very least, it could poop on things. So, we decided to let the bird out.

plan A:
Open the door. Shoo the bird out the front door, since birds naturally like to be outside.
Plan A failed miserably. The bird flew into the kitchen and would not leave.

plan B:
Shoo the bird out the back door, using (for lack of a broom) a strainer and a frying pan.
The bird swirled around on the ceiling fan a bit and went into attack mode, with its beak open. We managed to get it into the family room.

plan C:
Clearly, a simple chase would not work. We would need a more complex strategy. Since the bird kept flying frantically into the bookshelf, we decided to block the bookshelf off with a sheet. We tried to hook it up to a nail and ended up plastering the wall with Scotch tape. Dana blocked off the kitchen door by holding up her coat. Anna chased the bird into the hallway with her coat. (I felt like a matador.) We figured once the bird saw the open front door, she would naturally go out.
The bird flew right up above the door, then up the stairs.

plan D:
Chase the bird out of all the bedrooms and close all the upstairs doors very quickly. Block off more downstairs doors with sheets and Scotch tape, and eventually the bird will have to fly downstairs. With all the rooms blocked off, she will be stuck, and when we are finished eating our pizza, we will let her out the front door. In the meantime, she can fly out the garage door if she wants to.
While eating our pizza, we hear a noise in the kitchen. How did she get in there?? The kitchen was a sheeted area! That little bugger must have walked down the stairs and crept underneath the sheet to the living room! Dana: "This is war."

plan E:
Fortify the bottom of the sheets with coats, briefcases, and chairs. Move sheets so that the bird is now blocked into the living room and dining room and can exit through the back door.
Bird was content to chill in the Christmas tree. Anna and Dana called a temporary truce to finish their pizza.

plan F:
Anna and Dana each hold up one end of a sheet. Approach the Christmas tree, surrounding the bird. Corner bird into the doorway, forcing her into the dining room.

After an hour and a half of long and grueling battle, planning tactics, Scotch tape usage, and a little bit of prancing around holding a large, flowered sheet, plan F proved successful! The bird retreated into the dining room, and out the open back door! The house was a wreck. There was a little bird poop on the wall, some stale bread crumbs and tortilla chips that I had attempted to use as bird food on the floor, and poly-cotton blended barricades billowing in each doorway. We were exhausted, but victorious. I only wish I had taken pictures.

After tonight, I think Lola would be a good name for the bird, if Dana says yes.